My mom bought a bunch of unicorn pinatas to use as centerpieces for my graduation party so yeah, it’s going to be BANGIN
Sometimes you need to stay in bed and try to process everything that has happened in the past three months
Advice/Things I Would Say If We Were Friends
Planned Parenthood has a live chat Drink water whenever you go to a restaurant because it’s cheaper and easier to talk yourself into dessert if you didn’t have a milkshake or something. You look cute in that shirt and not hip-y
Happy is a good thing to be
confusedtree: The best way to seduce the ladies is to say everything with the same inflection that Shakira uses to say “I’ll be there and you’ll be near” in Whenever, Wherever. Every single word
No one understands how much I love Papa John’s and I’ve only been twice and I just want to eat it all the time someone go with me I refuse to do it alone I only go to Moe’s alone so that Stephen will fall in love with me
We’re watching that Will Ferrell movie where he’s a Mexican drug lord and its all in spanish and I don’t think it’s possible for me to be more in to it
thetroubledstateside: if i go to your house and you only have single ply toilet paper, i’m leaving. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my mom it’s to never buy cheap toilet paper.
constantcomfort: I love Rachel Hoffman
Havin a weird day feelin pretty bad want 2 stay in bed for a few days
My older brother is cool sometimes because I can tell him stuff and then we can look at each other from across the room and yell RAWK LAWBSTAAAAH at each other for ten minutes or so
winklevines: oh my god pls Yes. I need unicorns on my boobs right this minute
Boy I Drove Home From Work (BIDHFW) asked me if I was afraid of heights and I said not really and he said “You know, no one is afraid of heights. They’re just afraid that they’ll jump.” and then he walked back into the walk in freezer so I think we’re together now
wearesavages: The High Court- Heaven on the...
drarna: i know you want to kill hitler, and we’re gonna do that! but it’s my time machine. so first, we go back to ‘96 and see space jam in theaters.
Best song in the history of music
Running errands by myself is one of my favorite things to do and I don’t know what that says about me as a person except that I’m really fun to be around
Anonymous asked: why so happy?
I’m in bed and I have to get dressed up for the thing tonight but gosh I really am very happy
Rats and cats are the same shit fuck science– Lil Nicky
I just had to break the news to someone that rats and cats can’t mate.
I have this scholarship banquet tomorrow night that I have to go to or else I won’t get my $25 and I know that I will get called into work. I can feel it in my bones. I will have to tell George that I can’t go and then he will make me feel bad for not coming in and also for calling him Josh.
Anonymous asked: wwhat do you look for in aboy and are you currently looking for a boy
murderof-crows: Punchline|The Fake, The Snake,...
My mom didn’t even ask me to watch Bates Motel with her today even she knows it’s time for me to not live here anymore
I get to move into a dorm in 128 days
I’ve always been super big fans of my parents and been really close with them but they are making this whole liking them thing really hard.
I’m in a place. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad place but I’m here and I think I’m going to be here and just sit. I had my first day at my new job today and my boss told me that they clean out the walk in fridge every few months and then they fishbowl it before they put all the stuff back in. So I’m there.